Secret santa for the very awesome Pege <3
babe, i did it for you
by MonochromaticThere was no one Rarity loved in the whole world more than Rainbow Dash.
Granted, she was only a high schooler, and she’d hardly met most of the whole world, but she was fairly certain that, out of the many people she’d met, which were many, she loved no one more than she loved Rainbow Dash.
On a separate note, Rainbow Dash was a very interesting person who—dear reader, I mean this in the best of ways—was prone to getting into situations. It was her nature, who she was, that if your name was Rainbow “Danger” Dash, then situations followed you like a toaster follows a zebra.
You might think that makes no sense.
You’d be exactly right. It makes zero sense, just like the kind of situations Rainbow ended up in. But ended up in them she did, and since Rarity loved Rainbow Dash—was her ride and die, if you will—then she had to take them in stride, come hell or high water.
Anyway, to make a long introduction short, dear reader, and taking all of this into account, if Rarity loved Rainbow Dash more than anything in the whole world, there was no text message that terrified her in the whole wide world like the ones that started with the following four words:
Hey, babe, quick favor.
The text message was clear in her mind’s eye.
x Hey, babe, quick favor, can you come to the hallway outside the library asap, pls?
Rarity drummed her long fingernails against her desk, surreptitiously glancing at the phone on her lap. Her two messages asking her girlfriend for a follow-up had gone read but unanswered save for a ‘prayer’ and ‘heart’ emoji, and her five subsequent messages explaining Mr. Loopflint had given someone else the hallway pass had gone unread.
“Did she say what’s wrong?” Fluttershy whispered, diligently pretending to be hard at work solving the equations in her notebook.
“No,” Rarity whispered back, tucking her phone under her leg and writing down a string of numbers. “She’ll just have to wait until class is done.”
Bzzt!
Finally!
Waiting until the teacher was distracted helping a student, she took her phone out again and clicked on the message notification.
x rares, it pleaded, if i get detention again, my parents are gunna kill me
“Oh, my God,” Rarity whispered, and then again, more pronounced, when another message popped up.
x you gotta promise you won’t be pissed, tho. ok?
Another beat.
x rares????
“Okay,” she whispered to herself. “All right.”
Quick as she could, and as much as her nails would allow her typing to be legible, she typed back.
<> im wprking onit, rainbiw
x rainbiw…
<> you knoe what, nevbermind
x wait, rares, wait, sorry, please, your typos are hot, babe, also i’m running outta air in here
<> WHAT DOYU MEAN??
After an entire minute without a reply, Rarity did what one had to do when one’s partner was in trouble: figure it out.
As it would turn out, figuring out would involve convincing the teacher of something that, for the sake of Rarity’s dignity vis a vis you, dear reader, is better left unsaid. I’ll leave it to your surely wild imagination, which I’m sure is as incontinent as–
I’ve said too much.
When she stepped into the empty hallway a few moments later, clutching the hall pass she’d just humiliated herself over for, she was confused to find the place completely empty. Was this a prank? Surely not. She’d have to kill Rainbow Dash, which she didn’t particularly want to do considering she loved her.
“Rainbow?” she whisper-shouted, stepping into the hallway. “Rainbow?!”
“Rarity?”
Rarity froze. The world stopped. Time stopped. Everything stopped, and yet somehow she found the willpower to turn around and stare at the locker where she could have sworn she heard—but surely not, surely not, please, please surely not—Rainbow’s voice coming from.
“…Rainbow?”
“Rarity!” called out a voice from within the godforsaken locker. “Oh, man, thank [APPALLING EXPLETIVE] you’re here! I was worried I was going to die!”
“Rainbow,” Rarity asked the love of her life, “please tell me you’re not—”
“I got stuck in the locker!” Rainbow finished, the locker door shaking as she spoke. “I can’t open it from the inside! Hurry!”
“Oh, my God,” Rarity whispered. And then again as she rushed to the locker, and again as she fumbled with the handle and got it open, and again, angered, at the sight of her apparently very flexible girlfriend somehow—somehow—contorted inside the locker like the world’s dumbest origami.
“Babe!” Rainbow explained, thrilled.
“Rainbow,” Rarity replied, “what, and I do mean what, the [UNLADYLIKE BUT WARRANTED EXPLETIVE]?”
“I can explain!” Rainbow exclaimed, contorting herself out of the locker.
“Really? I can’t wait to hear it.”
This was a lie.
Anyway.
“I was just—!” Rainbow stretched her limbs, attractively flexing her muscles, but Rarity was determined not to swoon over right then. “Man, that hurt. Anyway, look, I was—I did this for you!”
Rarity blinked. “For me?” she asked, calmly, and then uncalmly, “FOR ME?”
“Yeah, yeah!” Rainbow nodded in earnest, taking Rarity’s hand in hers. “See, ‘cause I was thinking I’d hide in your locker one day—”
“This isn’t my locker.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, like if Rarity were the silly one of the two. “Yeaaaah, duh! I was testing on an empty locker, Rares! What, you think I’m dumb enough to try yours first? Babe.”
“How could I have thought such a thing.”
“It’s cool,” Rainbow said with a wink before continuing. “Anyway, like I was saying, I was gonna get into your locker right before math class, ‘cause you hate that crap, and then when you opened it to get books you’d hate, you’d get me! The thing you love,” she reasserted. “And then I’d be like—” Before Rarity’s very eyes, Rainbow cleared her throat, and with a smoulder more smouldering than it had any right to be, said in a low voice, “I’m the only book you need to check out, babe.”
Rarity stared at her. Rainbow stared back.
“Rainbow.”
“What? You like it?” Rainbow asked, excited like the puppy she always was. “It’s romantic, right? You think it’s hot? You’d have melted and stuff. You’d like it?”
And, do you know what Rarity said, dear reader?
“Yes, I would have liked it,” Rarity replied, horrified that she wasn’t lying. “Oh, God.”
I have like six more ideas of dumb shit Rainbow can do to honor Rarity so don’t be surprised if this gets updated randomly LOL
I suddenly have this image of a random comment Rarity makes and doesn’t even think about it. Next thing she knows, there’s a bunch of farm animals on the roof, Celestia is furious (and convinced magic was involved somehow,) and while no one is fessing up to it, Rainbow just has this smirk as wide as her face (whenever Celestia and Luna aren’t around.)
Sunset is in the background with Celestia trying to work out how magic could have done this (and how it might reverse it,) and Rainbow reminds Rarity of that one offhand comment…
I really enjoyed the comedy in this. Rarity and rainbow dash are a good pairing for humor and the story delivered it. The way they played off each other was done very well. I would think if rainbow dash is asking a favor then either she needs to borrow a couple dollars or she’s done something expel worthy. No inbetween
Adore how you write them, the dynamic of “will do anything to impress gf no matter how dumb” and “is impressed by her gf even if it’s the dumbest thing ever and is horrified by how smitten she is” is peak
fucking wheezing over here ohmigods, that was great
This was a smirk worthy thing to wake up to though it took my just awake brain a couple seconds to realize that “Babe I need a favor” was separate from the email title 😄
This was amazing. I definitely need more of this in my life.
Rainbow, you beautiful dummy. The utter sincerity makes it appealing but her teenage brain needs to hurry up and finish developing. At least it’s not as bad as when Rainbow tried fighting the football quarterback to “defend Raritys honor”. She broke his nose and he couldn’t play that night, costing them the playoffs!
I was confused at first why Raritys texting symbol was until I realized it was a diamond. Clever haha!
Nobody has as much swagger in her stumbles as Rainbow Dash. Thank you for gracing us with this mono, it’s so stupid I love it. The texting, especially Rarity’s, and the end explanation were my favorite parts. Amazingly silly.
Oh no. Rainbow, what did you do?
Rainbow, what did you do?
Air?!
An excellent question.
Of course, what was I thinking.
… Goddammit, Rainbow.
Rainbow is remarkably charming.
It’d be what Rarity deserves.
Oh my god Rainbow Dash is such a low key rizzler frfr