this time for SURE

Rift Shield considered himself a lucky guy.

Most of the time.

He had a job he enjoyed, working for the newly appointed Princess Twilight Sparkle in her new castle.

The Princess, still fresh to ruling, was still getting her bearings with the entire process, and considering his several years of service under Princess Celestia, she would often seek his counsel in matters of ruling and the like.

This meant they’d gotten to know each other rather well, and more than that, he’d gotten to know the other esteemed Elements of Harmony well, too.

One fateful day, his princess summoned him to her office quite out of the blue. Quite unexpectedly, as he had not gathered something was amiss, and they’d very recently gone over the month’s duties for him.

“Rift!” she greeted when he stepped into her office, a bright smile on her face. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, your highness,” he said at once, if a little awkwardly, not used to being kept in the dark—particularly so because Twilight made him read her schedules four times every day, and sometimes twelve for good measure.

One time, it was fifty times!

That was a rough day for everypony involved.

Anyway.

“What can I help you with?” he asked, and then quickly added, “I read the schedule today already.”

Twilight riffled through her papers, a little thoughtful, at a glance messily but upon further inspection, methodically.

Oh boy, he thought.

“So!” she said. “How have you found Ponyville? Do you like it?”

“Yes, your highness, very much!” he replied at once, the perfect truth. He enjoyed his work, he enjoyed helping the princess, and most of all, though he would never admit it, he really rather enjoyed the company of a specific close friend of the princess.

“Good! I’m glad. I had a… difficult time adjusting when I moved here from Canterlot at first.” She drifted off, and then continued. “Have you made any friends?”

The guard blinked. “Er. Yes, your highness,” he replied.

She must have noticed his hesitation at her question, for she quickly added, “Sorry! I have to ask. My title is literally the Princess of Friendship. And it’s a title I really take seriously, and I’m grateful to have.”

“Yes, I know, your highness,” he said, privately pretending he hadn’t heard her ranting to Spike on a particularly bad day how she should have been the Princess of Saving Equestria Every Other Day But Whatever.

“But, you know, there’s a different kind of…” She faltered. “Er. Friendship. Type of friendship! I’m not too familiar with.”

“Type of frie—”

“Actually,” she interrupted, speaking mostly to herself, “I guess it’s really more a type of relationship, not so much friendship?”

“Right,” he said, because he couldn’t verbally say ‘???’ but his expression conveyed that well enough.

“And, as the Princess of Friendship and adjacent branches—”

“Adjacent branches.”

“—I feel like it falls on me to facilitate said branches when I see the opportunity!”

“I understand.”

He did not understand.

“Yes.”

She riffled her papers.

“Your highness,” he said, gently, “what can I help with?”

“Rift,” she blurted out, “I think you should ask Rarity out.”

“???” he said, finding the power within himself at last, in an unprecedented verbal move that Twilight would later write to Princess Celestia about.

(“But… I don’t understand,” the Princess would say to her in a later meeting. “Do that again, Twilight, please.”

“???”

“My God. I mean, my Self. Do it again.”

“???” said Twilight. “You try!”

“???” said Princess Celestia, then gasping in shock as she scrambled to her hooves. “My stars, we need to present a conference about this.”) 

“Ask Lady Rarity out?” Rift Shield stammered, unsure of how to even react because, well—

It wasn’t that he didn’t want it. He wanted Lady Rarity desperately, always struggling to laugh loudest at her jokes, or compliment her outfits, or be anything other than all around useless around her.

Like that one time she thanked him for escorting her to some event, and he said “You too!” in reply and he couldn’t look at her for a whole week.

God, that was a bad day.

“Yes,” she said, and she meant it. She faltered again, and the teasing in her voice horrified him as much as if he’d just shown up to work with his coat shaved off. “Rift, I see the way you look at her.”

“You do?” he replied, because ‘God, no, Princess, why?’ would be inappropriate.

“I look at everypony. I like looking,” he added quickly, and oh! Would you look at that? The worst day of his life was shoved to second place just like that.

She smiled.

Oh God. Er, Celestia. Godly Celestia. Celestial Godly Sun—

“Rift,” she asked, “do you like Rarity?”

“Yes,” he blurted out, because honestly at this point, why not? What could be worse?

I mean, really, that was fine to say, right?

Like, it wasn’t as if he was saying what he really felt, like the second he saw Lady Rarity walk into the room, he hadn’t felt his throat catch in his throat. That just the sight of her made him feel like he was destined to love her. Like the entire reason he existed—the purpose for which he was put on any plane of existence—was to fall desperately in love with her. Love her, deeply, desperately, and yet unable to ignore this void in his chest telling him that no matter what he did, in this world or the next, he was born to love her but not be with her—

“Like some cruel, awful deity beyond Celestia herself loves making me suffer,” he said, and only realized what he’d said when the Princess blinked.

“Wow!” she said. “That’s a lot to unpack.” She cleared her throat. “Right. Uhm. Anyway.”

“Fucking kill me, your highness,” is what he would have said, but he didn’t, because he was a gentlecolt.

And a gentlecolt, as Lady Rarity would say, would never swear.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“No, no, it’s okay!” she replied hastily. “Love makes ponies. Uh. Yeah!”

She rifled her papers. It was not methodical.

“Right, so, uhm. I still think you should ask her out,” she said, though it should be noted there was a slight edge of concern in her voice. “I think she would like it.”

“Are you fucking with me? Really? Holy shit.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, and that instead you said ‘Really, Princess Twilight? That’s incredible! I can barely believe it.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

The papers were a mess now, by the way. There was no order to be found. Order had left the room, much like Rift’s entire dignity.

“Was that all?” he asked.

“Yep!”

“Okay.”

He stood there. She sat there. The papers were also still there.

“I’m going to leave now,” he said.

“Please do,” she replied.

He left, closed the door behind him, gathered up the pieces of everything he was, and then he did not trot over to Carousel Boutique, he galloped.

It was a week later that Rift Shield arrived at Carousel Boutique, promptly at eight, dressed, it should be said, in his absolute best.

Mane smoothed back, cologne up every possible place that could be scented, and a beautiful, elegant suit that had been bought.

“This is it,” he said, amping himself up. “You’re going to get the girl.”

He cleared his throat, knocked on the door thrice, and when it opened, not even Celestia’s name was a fitting thing to say.

In part because there was a chance she might think he was actually calling her ‘Celestia’ and then once again, the other two terrible days would have to be pushed down.

Anyway!

Rarity looked sublime.

There was no other word for it. Dressed in a beautiful blue gown, makeup as if painted by angels, the most heavenly of perfumes subtly caressing the air. She was a star brought down from above, and he was about to take her out on a date.

“Why, Rift Shield,” she said, the way she savoured his name sending shivers down his spine. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Lady Rarity,” he replied with as much boyish charm as he could muster, a slight flustered tint to his cheeks. “You look beautiful.”

And, Celestia, she did. She did.

When she laughed, he fell in love all over again, her eyes sparkling with delight.

“Why, thank you!” She twirled around for his benefit—and, boy, what a benefit—and fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I do look divine, do I not?”

He cleared his throat, not wanting to stare in any unseemly way, and produced a beautiful bouquet of red roses he’d brought along.

“For you.”

She took them in her forehoof, breaking into a wide grin. “Why, Rift Shield! These are lovely, thank you! And, fortunate too, because I—” A blush crawled up her cheeks, and the alabaster beauty looked somehow even more so. “I got you something too.”

“Really?” he asked, his heart practically somersaulting right out of his throat. He cleared his throat. “My Lady, you shouldn’t have.”

“No, no! I insist! I think you’ll look very fetching in it,” she promised, and he believed her. “It’s cold out, too, and…” She lifted his chin with her hoof, and if he could have died then and there, he would have. “Wouldn’t want you to catch your death, now, would we?”

He grinned, deploying his most roguish of charms. “My lady, just seeing you is helping with that.”

As she giggled with delight and disappeared into her boutique, Rift Shield tried his best not to look as excited as he felt.

When she re-emerged a minute later, it was with the most sultry of smiles, the stuff of dreams, and with ladylike demureness, she produced her gift.

“Here,” she said as he looked down upon it,”I do hope you like it.”

The wig was a deep almost purple blue, streaked with a darker purple and raspberry highlight.

And it was cut with bangs.

“Oh!” he said.

In a gentle motion, she put it on his head, lovingly brushing back the bangs.

“Thank you,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “This is great.”